Wednesday, June 03, 2015

The Sofa Of All Elections

It was an image of the elections. Not all the pre-voting barbecues, not the landscape littered with posters for parties no one had ever heard of, not José Ramón and fellow PP sorts off for family days out on the "day of reflection", traipsing through the cultural heritage countryside of Mallorca, vice-president "Nipper" Gomez with a man-of-the-people rucksack strapped to his back. Not these. The image was the sofa, the inflatable one belonging to Madrid's mayoral aspirant Esperanza Aguirre. Esperanza - hope, expectation. She went in hope and expectation, blowing up her sofa with a foot pump in the neighbourhoods of the capital. She packed it into a Ryanair hold and transported it to Mallorca. Once more inflated, it was to come to the aid of José Ramón. It didn't. She came, she inflated, he lost. Deflated.

Esperanza will need to try harder. A whole inflatable three-piece with foot rests and coffee table might now be required. She is battling against a new-age Podemos-style sofa, an Ahora Madrid one, not decorated with motifs of Real or Atlético but discreet hammers and sickles (supposedly). You see, the elections may be over but the real election has since begun. The unseemly scramble for coalitions, for retention of or gaining of power - municipal and regional.

Why was Esperanza dragging an inflatable around with her? It was all an attempt to get up close to the people (though in typically Spanish style, the people are rarely referred to; they are the more impersonal "citizens"). Closeness, listening: these were keywords of the elections as much as "stability" was. But things can, if you are not careful, become unstable. If the sofa gets the puncture of electorate rejection, the air is evacuated. Buoyant politics in a PP manner become the sinking feeling of defeat.

The sofa was a late-in-the-day attempt to demonstrate closeness. For years, closeness was of no consequence. But then along came the new lot, with their mantras of participation, their Twitter accounts and online citizen (people) decision-making. Suddenly, the old lot were reminded that there were citizens (people). Blimey, maybe we ought to talk to them. Get up close and personal. Unfortunately, inflatable sofas have been proven not to be the answer, unless the question was -how does a politician make herself appear rather ridiculous? Answer: get an inflatable. What next? Accompanying bouncy castles to keep the kiddies happy while mum and dad are being listened to, close up on the sofa?

But in an act of probably sofa satire, the left have discovered furniture as well. Or they have in Sa Pobla at any rate. Més per Sa Pobla became Sofa per Sa Pobla for a brief time at the weekend. Not that this was an inflatable. Oh no, it was an altogether more rigid affair, an expression of permanence: their hope, their expectation. Where had the sofa come from? Newly acquired from Ikea or maybe hauled out of a nearby skip? Recycled. That will be it. Més are not eco-nationalists for nothing.

The sofa was introduced to the market square on Sunday. As it wasn't right in the market, it probably didn't contravene any licensing regulations regarding market stalls. Not that Més should worry, if they become part of the ruling administration. Everyone will be getting new sofas. The town hall will provide. Perhaps. The sofa's appearance was part of the Més post-election election campaign for government. Improbable though it had seemed, Més wants to ally with PSOE and the Independents and El Pi to form the administration. Anyone but the PP, basically, even if it means an unholy alliance of unlikely bed or rather sofa fellows.

Going to market would mean that the Més message would reach a wide audience - one that includes foreign residents who make habitual trips to the Sa Pobla Sunday market. Not that they matter; they don't vote in any event. No, this was a message for the "poblers". Or might the sofa have been mistaken for an item for sale? Might its occupants have been taken for traders? There, after all, was Antonio Simón Tomás, the Més mayoral candidate, holding up a notice which read 1,141. A bit overpriced, the market visitors would have thought. For a recycled sofa.

This was of course the number of votes that Més had received. "Thank you", the notice also read. 1,141 - 997 fewer than the PP, which received the most votes. 18.7% of the share of the vote - 16.4% lower than the PP's share. How strange it can seem that the system of proportional representation can discount the wishes of 35% of those who bothered to vote. But then, the PP's closeness had only been air - some of it hot. It had been temporary. The Més closeness was more substantial and it was placed in the corner of the people's market.

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