Sunday, April 04, 2010

Watch My Lips: Playback and entertainment

"Cherry Blossom Girl" by the French duo Air. It's a lovely song, hippy-chic-retro-meets-electro. Or something like that. It featured female vocals. When the band appeared on "Top Of The Pops", there was no female vocalist to be seen. Jean-Benoît mimed it. Perhaps it was meant to be ironic. I thought it was excruciating, embarrassing and disrespectful of the audience.

We can probably all point to our least favourite examples of miming, otherwise known as lip-synching or as playback. Ah yes, playback. During the fair in Alcúdia last October there was an event called "Alcúdia Show Time". It featured, amongst other questionable treats, a competition for playback. Yep, they actually awarded prizes for miming. Nevertheless, this celebration of the truly naff notion of not actually being able to sing has some cultural redolence, if one can call tourist entertainment cultural - and some will. And this is because playback is increasingly being deployed in being passed off as entertainment.

The reason for this growth in shamtertainment is not difficult to understand. Compared with employing performers who can actually hold a tune, it is cheap. But it comes with a risk and a potential price. The clamour for entertainment has become deafening, and so might be the boos from tourists who feel they've been short-changed. And if not boos on the night, then boos on the forums, slagging off such-and-such a hotel or establishment for using miming. Bad PR on the internet really cannot be underestimated.

More than poor publicity, the use of playback both takes away employment from and undermines those who can perform - from the Elvises and Robbies to the participants in tribute bands and in shows. Playback is lazy in another respect. It is indicative of a lack of originality in the provision of entertainment. There is very little tourist entertainment that can be said to be original, though maybe that is the fault of the tourist who craves the familiar over the different. Rather like there is a tendency towards a tandoori or burger and chips, so the entertainment comes served in digestible Abba-sized chunks.

But wait. Why not develop some original shows? Ben, he of periodic mentions here, once appeared on stage with Noele Gordon. Yes, that Noele Gordon. I know what they could do. "Crossroads - The Musical". I can even offer a song - The Bachelors adapted for Benny: "smoile for me, Miss Doiyane". An Amy Turtle would not be hard to find; indeed I know someone who'd be a ringer, even if she'd need to work on the accent a bit. And there would even be scope for some local Spanish performer: the soap's original chef was Carlos. If not Crossroads, then Eldorado. It may have been considered to have been rubbish - I liked it - but some of the characters were recognisable: the alcoholic, the well-meaning wife who does the newsletter, the old trout fallen on hard times, the older bloke with the youthful totty, the posh bird, and the dodgy geezer who has something to do with boats.

You know, I think I'm onto something here. The expat musical. Can't think why, but I've got this catchy name for it. Sounds upbeat, sunny perhaps but certainly girly and ice-creamy. Milli Vanilli.


Here is Air's mime in which they also didn't even bother to have someone pretending to play the flute part:




QUIZ:
Yesterday - Jamiroquai, Steve Miller and DJ Space Cowboy.

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

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